Tuesday, January 31, 2006
water-milk-[dont]-mix {shui ru [bu] jiao rong}
i realize that flour and i have grown so incompatible.
it's only been one month since i've touched it!
grr.
i gritted my teeth and gave e mixture an irritated look.
it was supposed to be a mixture for fortune cookies, but apparantly i'm not v fortunate with baking a perfect batch.
sorry. lame pun.
oh well.
okay okay, i'm gg to leave e flour alone and concentrate on my books. hahaha. yes you heard right, BOOKS. okie i think i've scared some ppl because of my sudden urge to keep studying, but don worry for me la, i'm fine.. i'm not like depressed or overstressed or just being plain idiotic by hitting e books even as early as 7am on hol morns.
hmmm y's my tone so cynical and just different from my usual tone?
heh, honestly, i hav no idea.
*blink blink*
i'm being honest!
hahahaha. okie la, shall summarize e past wk then:
things mainly happened on tues, prob wed, and fri.
tues, got our new timetable.. well it's really quite terrible, considering my combi is actually quite common. ya two days end at 5 20, and earliest day ends at 3 10, but it's official cca day :S so ya.. but shall not whine la, coz i'm sure the timetabling com did their best in making sure timings do not clash and stuff.. each person has a 'personalized timetable'.. thanks timetabling com :).
okay so basically it's like this, we have a homeroom (our same ip1ip2 classes -go 04ip04), and we meet during civics on mon wed and fri. e rest of the time, we'll hav tutorials and lectures, according to our subjects. we don get to choose which tutorial class and session we wanna go for. instead, they split those taking tt subject into diff tutorial classes, and stagger e tutorial sessions so they wont clash. lectures all taking tt subject same venue la. ehh i hope i'm being clear :S
ya so we were all comparing timings.. so far shiqi and phoebe are in my class, as in from 04ip04. i know jing takes e same combi as i, so i'll be seeing her much more :P
wed, lessons as usual, civics for 20mins, then hall for mrs cheng's talk. ehh, ip3s were sleeping la, phoebe was kinda trying to do e chinese knot with ziwei and clemence looking on and 'helping' :P hahaha. then cny perf rehearsal again..
fri, reached sch in denim skirt and black jacket. haha coz we performing, then jacket will be more convenient compared to a t-shirt. went lt5 toilet to makeup and ginny braided my hair for me :) hehe. then changed to flow pants and we swept to lt1 :) well e perf wasnt our best, but still was okay ba.. i love e makeup :) ehh, then aft e perf saw many ip3s and j1s, who told us tt it was really great, and some of my ip3 friends told me tt 'it was e best we've seen from western dance'. oooh. hahaha i donno how to react lei. like 'wow it's really so good ah' yet 'crap u mean our previous perfs were terrible?' ya.. hmmm anw talked to terra senior victor who came back, then watched wd prac for danceworks, and finally headed home wif makeup. lazy to and 'bu she de' remove :P ya then nth much at night le la.
hmmm i actually attempted to write abt my cny, but honestly, i'll BORE you. really, this yr kind of don seem to hav e mood.
ya tml's back to sch! i sound excited dont i :P
haha.
actually, was jus thinking, is it true that to love someone is to let that person go? y does loving someone hurt so much?
don xiang wai okay. love someone doesnt always have to mean e opposite gender, but a friend of e same gender.
ya still pondering and sorting out my thoughts. shall follow up with e nxt post..
btw, pls go look at my 2nd jan post abt dreams.. not many ppl are giving me feedback or comments! tagg my board! :)
haha okie la, books are calling me.. tc and see u all ard :)
xiao jo
@ 4:05 PM
____________*____________
Saturday, January 21, 2006
update :)
*note: hey do take a look at my 2nd jan post abt dreams and tell me wat u think okay? thanx :)
now for e actual entry..
hey everyone :) hmmm sorry i havent blogged for almost 2 wks! didnt blog abt e 2nd wk of orientation and first official wk of sch.. oh well i'll jus give a brief summary okay?
umm, tues was hari raya. well nth much.. oh sakae for dinner! :)
wed, aft assembly, had breakfast buffet with various ogs. so paiseh didnt know there was such a thing coz left early on mon for briefing, so i din bring anyth :S. ya anw aft tt was mass dance. yupp same partner as on monday, hahah. quite funny lar. then war games. honestly 2004's was more fun.. prob coz we had it on e field, which was totally icky and muddy due to e previous days of raining. many of us were in sandals, and with every step liquidified mud gushed ard ur feet. eww. yar. and e water in e water bombs were coloured. so had a myriad of colours :P. ya aft tt washed up *shudders* and lunch. cca carnival aft tt. rushed dwn to wd booth! :) ya changed into respective gear (we did streetfest items again), and mdm woon wanted to view our SEAMEO item, coz we're intending to do it for nj's cny celebrations for test audience. and of all places to show e item, the atrium. bleahh so paiseh! ya. well cca carn was pretty fruitful, got alot of ppl sign up! njwd all e way! ya nth much aft tt.. home.
thurs, station games. heh i don feel like listing all e stations dwn, coz 1)i'm lazy, 2)i dont really rber all :P but there was (not in order) poison ball, reach-for-e-cupful-of-water, 3-item telematch, blindfolding n search for chair, mass high jump, lifting-each-other-to-place-bands-on-cross, searching-in-flour, soap benches, watermelon, water transport.. ya.. aft tt wash up, lunch, then og session. 04 oei! haha we decided to get back together as 04ip04 and play games like murderer and chop chilli chop :P hahaha. ya then aft tt was mass dance! same partner :P we learnt all 3 dances! tho we were stoning for 'summernight' coz as ziwei rightly put, they taught those who are teaching now e dance, so as a matter of fact we know e dance better than anyone in e hall :P ya he v familiar wif e dance, i din do it since 04, so this time it was him who reminded me of e steps :S but i rber v fast :P a dancer is a dancer :). ya aft tt nth much, debrief, home.. tired, so din go dance :S guess e other 4 were quite pissed, but umm, i was really really tired due to some reasons not too convenient to be mentioned here. ya, and i havent missed a single dance prac since i joined in 04! really! even if i had research out of sch i rushed back for dance! so ya.. i didnt think they'd be so upset la. tho they aft tt said they werent angry or wat, still.. there's this awkwardness :S
okay then fri, last day! umm, mass dance! same partner, tho he was like hey i had training in e morn, still change back to dance lei. ya thanks :P umm, jus did all three dances.. quite fun lar :) then was war games part 2. quite sian honestly :S jus we throw water bombs at ogls, and vice versa. and one thing abt flying water bombs, if they hit u hard, it's super painful. yar. oh and thank God it was sunny! or else dance party wld hav to be in e linkway, = cramped = sian.. ya past few days it was rainy mah.. oh back to war games part 2, since it was so hot, we didnt mind getting wet with cold water bombs :P ya aft tt lunch, clan session, og session.. we went kap, nth much la, played truth or dare. bleahh. mine was relatively simple la. ya mouth zipped. aft tt we returned to sch, and i met sam to get e cookies :) will miss u mummy. ya then was supposed to go parade square for dance party, but jo and jess dragged me to accompany them for choir part-placements. ya went awhile, but it dragged so they told me to go off first. reached parade square, class was deciding where to go coz they didnt cater for 04ip classes. so we jus brought bench frm oasis to e road part of e parade square, placed e pizzas, then hung ard. we played chop chilli chop frm e e oasis area back to our 'booth'. hahaha we looked retarded but real fun :) well then dance party started! so fun :) jus rocked to e beat, and haha woah sure was hot! both literally and figuratively. ya then we did mass dance thrice! hahaha. whee met jo awhile during e party, and expected her to be like sitting ard, not dancing. but i cldnt believe it when she DRAGGED ME INTO E CROWD AND STARTED JUMPING. oh my gosh i was totally STUNNED. ya hahaha. tt night ended at ard 9 30 and we walked out, zhu chin me ale phoebe ziwei, stopping alongway for chin and zhu to teach ale and phoebe how to do e 'roll-roll-popx3' move using ur abdomen, with a v disgusted zw and amused me looking on. wd move! :P ya tt's all, chin's mum sent me to serangoon int where i took bus home. reached home at like 11 :S
sat, morn had biomed lecture. jo was like stoning :P i was bored but okay, cld understand. then we went dwn church for fiana's wedding. whee everyone dressed so formally! jo and i were like 'ambassadors from our schs' :P ya e wedding was pretty cool, really :) then reception, and home.
sun, church.. nth much really happened i guess.. but lan mu shi preached, so long nv see him! haha great sermon :)
mon, i went to sch just for civics :S reached sch for assembly, then stayed in library frm then to ard 12, lunch then civics. diaoz. ya but at e library did some cards for e class, and jo helped me. or rather i made her. but she was bored right? i gave her smth to do.. so nice right :P ya stayed until 5 for dance pubstunt rehearsal.. learned 2 sets of 8, to be done tml! woahh think i'll jus forget.. nth much at night. oh, and it was ziwei's bday, e class sang a v informal happy bday song to him before civics :P
tues, had math lecture at 8 50, and bio lecture at 10 50. then nth. sian! ya and i din forget steps during pubstunt! :) ya then nth le..
wed, econs lecture at 8, chem lecture at 11 40. went library to mug again during e break. aft lunch was civics, and at 3 went dwn hall for dance auditions! haha quite alot of ppl, but no. of ballet ppl v disappointing. ya ended at ard 7, then went home..
thurs, maths lecture at 8 50, bio lecture at 11 40. library again during e break, then had to stay till 5 30 coz e SEAMEO dancers wanted to go nanyang see their costumes (sorry my language quite gross now). went hougang to get some stuff during e break.
fri, only had econs lecture at 10 50. so library again. aft econs was civics, then let off. had lunch, and stayed until 5 for dance camp! whee we had ice breakers, then dinner, but had to leave for SEAMEO prac at e gym. oh, and shi wei, sam, bliss, cheryl, fuqiang, and my kor came dwn! :) ya we prac-ed a few rounds, before mr ho called e other dancers dwn to watch us. i wanna strangle mr ho! hahaha. ya they said e item was beautiful! yay :) aft tt it was close to 10, i had to leave coz i was sick and mum didnt allow me to stay over. my kor walked me to e main gate coz it was quite dark lar. ya, then home.
today, reached sch at 8 for biomed lecture. went for first half, then heh, sneaked off during break to join e dancers. coz felt bad didnt stay over alrdy, lesser bonding time, so i went to join them. they jus finished station games, then supposed to hav a dance competition btwn groups, so choreographed 2 counts of 8, and ya had e competition. was lazy to change to pe attire so haha did non-floorwork parts of e dance. ya then we learned wd cheers! 'prize presentation' aft tt, clear up, then we went kap for lunch. sat wif e ip1s :) avril, liyana, charlyn, chuyun, rachel, hui ting, samantha [j1]. ya.. then came back and decided to update :P
hmmm and btw, i went library just now before coming back, and was browsing thru some magazines. honestly, it's irritating and infuriating when ppl tear out parts of e magazine, esp they are like feature articles. grr.
hmmm okie sorry for e super long post, do try to read my post on dreams too okay? and tag please.. take care guys :)
xiao jo
@ 4:51 PM
____________*____________
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
orientation, one wk and a day :)
hello :) i havent updated for more than a wk.. sorry! haha nth much actually happened la.. it's jus tt i was too lazy to blog.. yupp last wk was pretty boring for e ip3s, coz programme was mainly talks and subject introduction talks.. we ip3s who hav alrdy chosen our subject combis don hav to attend.. so on thurs we went to lt4 and watch CENTER STAGE! thanks to me who brought e dvd :P haha actually coz coco returned e disc to me on wed, then i was lazy to take it out.. hehe. so we watched center stage :) yay i love ethan stiefel and amanda schull! cooper and jody rawks :) hahaha ethan's really soooo gd.. 5-6 pirouettes :) ahhhhhh. hehe aiya i love center stage :)
hahaha many ppl cringed when they showed e part where e dancers tape their topes, burn e rim of pointe shoes, scrape e sole of e pointe shoe, wash wounds under e tap.. tt's part of being a ballet dancer man :) shows tt ballet is not jus abt 'prettiness'.. there's so much dancers go thru :)
so now i hav like many ppl on my waiting list to borrow center stage.. hai i'm gg to miss my disc.. take care of my disc please ppl! i got my friend in US to buy for me coz i cant find it in spore anymore.. yupp :)
hmmm then on fri quite fun, learned mass dance.. e first part only la.. quite nice la :) it was did to 'upside dwn' by a*teens.. then jo and i went dwn to meet my other church mates sending weihong into army.. ya then jo and i went for lunch, library, then me to dance at ccab :S frm bukit timah to pasir ris then back to bukit timah..
well then sat and sun nth much le la.. monday (ystday)was actual 'start' of orientation.. e 6 clans came in.. but this yr's presentation abit too draggy.. and we were all cooped up inside e hall W/O AIRCON. so u can imagine how stuffy it was la. go outside was like aircon :S oh did i mention, we ip3s were split up into e j1 classes within our houses, so tt we'll get to know more ppl.. ya so i was attached to s13, with sharon, johanna, weiling and clemence. only for orientation la :P ya aft e presentations we went parade square for og sessions, bleahh i cant rber alot of ppl's names! ya then lunch.. as usual during orientations, e canteen was PACKED. ya.. so just ate sandwich and apple :) aft tt was clan session at lt1.. learnt cheers and our very own house song.. hahaha. and they made e 04ip04-ers do a cheer together :) yay to 04ip04 (err tt's my class :P) ya haha quite funny to see all e dispersed 04-ers gathering at a spot and shouting e cheer :) then as mentioned in many ppl's blogs, sharon represented 04ip04 for e one with e longest last finger. hahaha. she won okay :) for e last 'competition' they asked each class to send a representative, and a councillor brought e reps out, then they said e competition was to see who had e biggest bum. hahaha. and our rep was ziwei. hahaha. and so as not to make e 'theme' so obvious, they made e reps act in a way they'll show their bums. e story was little red riding hood and ziwei was e lrrh. hahaha. and i shall not repeat e mistake he made on stage.. i believe it has alrdy been published on at least 2 of my classmates' blogs :P
hmmm then mass dance.. not surprisingly, got sabo-ed to dance together la. ya we learnt shark's tale portion of e dance.. more difficult than e upside dwn dance la, so learn for abt an hour only learn a verse.. not even chorus! haha. but well.. we'll learn more tml :) then ard 4 30 e biomed plus STaR ppl left for briefing.. turned out to be STaR symposium briefing. so WAT ON EARTH were we (my friend and i) biomed ppl doing there? 'oh you guys are to help out wif e symposium' -.- thanks alot. but well we cldnt do much also mah, coz we didnt actually do e research, so we were gg to be like receptionists la.. bleahh.
haha okie i shall NOT be whiny. being a receptionist is pretty fun. right? :P
hmmm.. ya tt summed e past wk, and when i was browsing wei jun's blog it was playing this v nice christian song.. right smack e first line asked 'who am i'? that someone so great is willing to even die for me. am i someone important, smart, pretty, powerful? e exact opposite in fact. how can Someone die for me? i cant imagine anyone besides him willing to do this for me.. yupp so let me just post e lyrics here okay..
Who am I Casting Crowns
Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart
[bridge]Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
[chorus]I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours
Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me
[bridge]
[chorus]
I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours
nice song :) and i still like 在祢手中.. hehe.
ya okie shall go le.. take care everyone :)
*btw, for easier viewing pls change e encoding to UTF-8.. and ya from now on my entries will be [abnormally] colourful :P coz easier to read ba.. :)
xiao jo
@ 4:47 PM
____________*____________
Monday, January 02, 2006
dreams. let go.
hey guys :) happy new yr! wanted to blog this like on sat, but i cldnt sort my thoughts out enuff, so i didnt.. well now, here it is:
was just listening to the Disney collection of songs, and this caught me: in dreams you’ll lose your heartache.. is it true? how many times is your dreams give you a heartache?
how do you define ‘dream’? isn’t it smth you cant get? if not, y call it a dream, not reality? if you are ultimately gg to get it, why call it a dream, a wish?
isn’t there such a thing as ‘wishful thinking’?
you hope, you dream, you wish when you are not sure whether you’ll get tt you are hoping/dreaming/wishing for, or you know you’ll not get that. you don’t say ‘i wish i were there’ if you alrdy are there. rite?
and isn’t by dwelling on it, dreaming, wishing, hoping abt it just make your heart break or ache even more? since you wont get it?
dictionary.com defines a dream as ‘wild fancy or hope’. so is it still worthwhile to have a dream?
tt definition linked to the song’s first line: a dream is a wish your heart makes, when you’re fast asleep. okay i believe when e song was written, being a notable song for cinderella, it was meant to mean physically fast asleep; but now thinking again, isn’t it possible it was used metaphorically?
as in, oblivious to e surroundings? or oblivious to reality?
indeed, dreams can also be defined as aspirations, but aspirations can be fulfilled! i mean, you don’t say you dream to be a scientist, you aspire to be one.
the rest of the song: have faith in your dreams and someday your rainbow will come smiling thru, no matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, e dream tt you wish will come true.
as mentioned, why have faith in something tt will never happen? and isn’t by keep on believing in smth tt wont happen or you’ll never get tt makes you grieve even more?
okay okay.
i’m biased.
coz now a major dream seems to be unable to be fulfilled (hmmm am i making sense?). i’ve always been a person who sets goals instead of dreams. i want As, i work for them, i don’t dream of [getting] them. and now when i allowed my mind to dream of something, POP like a burst balloon it well.. bursts and shatters into many pieces.
it gave me a heartache, not make me lose it.
coz now, i know quite certainly, it will not come true. and it really breaks my heart, it hurts to even think of it.
unless a miracle..
no, i’ve stopped believing in miracles (nora, a doll’s house)
i donno.. it’s like you really hope tt a miracle will actually happen! but yet u’re quite sure it’ll nv happen, or u just don’t want to get ur hopes up.
i love songs tt make me cry or emotions well up. somehow. weird huh.
i was listening to mulan’s ‘reflections’ by christina aguilera. tt song makes me want to dance and cry at e same time. somehow.
look at me, i will never pass for a perfect bride, or a perfect daughter
can it be, i’m not meant to play this part..
now i see that if i were truly to be myself, i would break my family’s heart.
[chorus]
who is tt girl i see, staring straight back at me
why is my reflection someone i don’t know?
somehow i cannot hide, who i am, though i’ve tried
when will my reflection show, who i am, inside?
i love e chorus best.. it’s really wat i do feel.. like how come i don’t know myself at all? who is tt girl facing me?
haha. okay i just babbled out some nonsense. i’m sorry if all e above didn’t make sense.
but i’m listening to this song ‘在祢手中’ by this Taiwanese group ‘joshua’. really nice. like Lord, i’m willing to put my heart totally into Your hands, and there may be things i have wanted, or am clinging on, or hurting me, but You are teaching me slowly, to learn how to let go. and now i’m different, my life is Yours, not mine, and may i be Your instrument.
it’s hard. as mentioned, i’m bitter abt dreams. like my dreams were shattered, aft i had ‘ke wang’-ed for so long. but God has reminded me that He is the one who gives and takes back, in His perfect time. it may not make sense to me, esp now since it totally doesn’t coincide wif my plans. but i’m only human, His wisdom transcends and far surpasses me.
like the song said, yes, there may be things tt i wanted, but Lord, You want to teach me how to let go, and thrust my life into Your hands, because any plan outside of Yours, will just bring and end in disaster.
it’s not easy. it’s very hard. it’s just so hard to fang shou. to actually entrust myself entirely to Him. i’m a person who kinds of like to work for wat i want, and to tell me to let go, though it’s hurting, it’s so hard.
but Lord, remind me, my life belongs to You, not me, and let me be willing to be Your instrument, and not e other way round.
i love this song.
甘愿成为祢手中美好的工作。
xiao jo
@ 1:20 AM
____________*____________
tag;
blog;
links;
me;